Trump Will Not Attend Biden Inauguration, Plans to Host Normal Auguration for Himself.

After a chaotic month of riots, violence, dissent, and the Star Wars Holiday Special, it looks like Joe Biden will be declared President and be inaugurated on Jan. 20th. However, the media has been frantically scrambling to find a way to make things interesting after Trump announced he will not be attending the Biden inauguration.

Not to worry, mainstream media! Trump just announced via the White House Twitter account that he will be hosting an “Auguration” ceremony for himself during the Biden inauguration. When asked about the nature of the ceremony, Trump stated, “Sleepy Joe thinks the 5 people that show up to his rallies are going to care about his inauguration. Sad! I will be campaigning to make “Auguration” a word by the end of 2021!”

Our understanding is that Trump will be inciting violence in the streets during his auguration address, using inflammatory rhetoric such as, “Go home and stay peaceful.” and, “Please do not do anything violent.” Sources have also confirmed that Kanye West will be performing at the Auguration.

At publishing time, sources confirmed that the Star Wars Holiday Special is the real enemy, not the riots, violence and dissent.

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