Man Enraged By Socially Accepted Murder Of The Unborn, Still Frequents Starbucks

Seattle, Washington

Recently, the churches of America have been less vocal about the mass genocide committed by corporations such as Planned Parenthood, and encouraged as well as funded by our United States government. Preachers all over the world have been speaking out against this immorality, and it struck home with this man.

Ted Williams, a respected man in his community, coffee addict, and member at Bible Baptist Church, was especially fired up about this societal norm, and decided to take action.

After contemplating what to do or say, for about forty two seconds, he went to his Facebook page and made several scathing, however truthful, remarks about the evils of the unmerited and very painful dismemberment of human offspring. He called for boycotts and removal of politicians from office, amongst other solutions. When confronted about his choice to frequent Starbucks, a well known and very vocal donor of Planned Parenthood’s, he immediately defended himself, using tactics such as name calling, red herrings, and attacking the character of his opponent. As the fellow Christian noted that God himself made very definite statements about the shedding of innocent blood, and how he curses those who align themselves with sinners, Mr. Williams flew into a violent rage, accidentally spilling his triple-latte-mocha-double shot of caramel syrup and whipped cream drink all over his pants. As he cleaned up the mess, he decided he knew better than his biblically educated counterpart, and blocked them.

At publishing time, several veterans were seen shopping at Target for expensive mac-n-cheese.

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