If you’ve read our other article on driving, you’re probably having success on the road. This is why we have put together another comprehensive list of driving tips.
1: Never shut your doors.
Don’t shut your doors when you get into a vehicular object, because the vehicular object doesn’t have an oxygen tank. When you close the doors, this cuts off your oxygen supply, thus cutting off any means of breathing.
2: Always keep a sword next to you
This has absolutely nothing to do with driving, but it will make you feel like a movie star driving down the freeway with a machete in the passengers seat.
3: Speed limit signs are just strong suggestions
Speed limit signs aren’t actually enforced by the po-po. They’re just a very encouraged suggestion. In fact, they’re actually a challenge. When you think about it,the government says speed LIMIT because they think that’s your limit of driving ability on the road. But you don’t have to go the limit they think yours is. If your driving limit is faster, then by all means. You go faster.
4: Don’t hesitate if you want to burn rubber
If you’re ever at a stopsign that turns green, and you feel the need to peel out, THEN DO IT!!!! There’s no law or sign saying it’s illegal to burn out on the road. In fact, there’s actually a sign that tells you to burn out. It’s a yellow sign with a picture of a black car with black lines behind it and what is it telling you to do?
5: Drive with your feet:
It’s actually a good idea to drive with your feet. When you were a baby, you probably did that hissy fit kicking legs up and down thing when you would cry. And what directions do our hands go when we all drive? UP…AND…DOWN!!!!
I mean, this only means we’ve been training to drive since we were a month old. And why else would the seats in our car have the ability to recline? So we could drive with our feet!
Well there ya go, 5 MORE ways on how to drive! Take these steps and go take your test. Your instructor will be most impressed. Happy driving!
Editor’s note: These steps have been proven effective by the Canadian Department of Motor Vehicles.