America Reels as Nation’s Millennials Go on Strike

Well, now we’ve gone and done it, haven’t we? Due to Donald Trump’s statement that mail-in ballots would most likely result in a “rigged election,” the nation’s millennials are writing up tons of fake ballots and sending them in support of Donald Trump, in order to prove him wrong.

When asked about this controversial move, Trump announced, “This is the smartest move, maybe ever. Everyone knows mail-in elections can’t be rigged. Everyone says so.” This has confused millennials further, causing them to raid local post offices and reclaim their ballots.

Disturbing footage has shown millennials attempting to punch a postman in the face and take his mail bag, but for some reason the postman’s face remained solid as a rock, as millennials screamed in pain after accidentally straining their “arm muscles.”

At publishing time, Trump had advocated voting for Joe Biden, and therefore is projected to win every state except California.

California is currently seceding from the Union and becoming a separate nation, although we’ll probably just pretend it doesn’t exist, kind of like Pluto.

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