Des Moines, Iowa
Eugene Bertrand IV is your typical genius, book nerd, and grammer Nazi. His friends claim he is the nicest person they know, so it came as a great shock when they found out he was being sued. Bertha McBlob is suing him for calling her son, Blobby Jr “hyperactive”. She says this is offensive and is accusing him of being a ‘bigot’. She is suing for ‘psychological damage’ and says she “won’t rest until her poor son has recovered from the traumatic incident.” Bertrand is fighting back, in an attempt to clear his name. He says the full statement was actually “if that youngster consumes a milliliter more of sweet crystallized goodness he will most likely become as hyperactive as a chipmunk on an adrenaline rush.” He claims McBlob said “what??” And immediately called him a ‘bigot’. A court date is set for Tuesday. No witnesses have been found as of yet.