New, Deadlier German “Nerff” Guns Banned

This past week, a highly sought-after, however potentially lethal weapon was removed from the shelves of most grocery stores. After an American 12-year-old went on a devastating shooting spree in a local Walmart, top government officials convened to reconsider the legality of these deadly firearms.

“We must consider the origin of these horrible weapons in light of its name. Although it’s a very American invention, it does end in the letter “f.” Stated Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “Most German words end with the letter “f!” These guns have been symbolic of German supremacy all these years! We must ban them immediately!”

Studies showed that the American word “Nerf” roughly translated as “Nerff” in German, with the help of AOC’s translating skills. Germany has already banned the terrible weapons, stating that “Ve vant no part of this” and, “Ve didn’t really vant your toys anyvay.”

At publishing time, sources confirmed that AirSoft will be changing its name to “Atmospherehard.”

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