In an effort to expand their sphere of influence and further the cause of fighting fascism and racism in government, Antifa plans to move as far away from the government and police as possible.
Mark Carls, local protest organizer/rioter, explained, “It stands to reason that the police will not be as prone to being mean, should we decide to go away and not infringe upon the rights of others. For some reason, the police hate it when we burn down buildings, block roads, and loot stores. Therefore, we are moving to a place where none of those things exist.”
Reportedly, Antifa will be self-quarantining in an open meadow without any resources except trees, water, and bare necessities. They will be making sure everyone gets a piece of their crop, and a glorious Communist utopia will be ushered in without government interference. “Yeah, can’t wait to share my meager life’s savings with everyone. Gonna be great. Seriously. Please don’t hurt me.” Said farmer Bob Hicks in a recent interview.
The police are reportedly going to let the experiment go on as planned, just out of curiosity. They have reason to believe this great idea will result in a lot less problems in major cities. “Hopefully the Communist experiment works, and they’ll be out of our hair forever. If not, they’ll probably all die. Either way, it’s kind of a win-win for us.” Stated California police chief Steve Anderson.
At publishing time, sources confirmed the experiment was failing horribly, however, it wasn’t “real Communism” and was therefore to be ignored.
