Well, we’ve all been there. It’s Thanksgiving, and your entire extended family is at your house for the holidays. You want to talk about something other than politics, but creepy uncle Joe won’t stop telling you he’s running for President. You ask if he wants to watch football, then remember football has been abolished for the good of the American people. What are you going to do?
1. Run some errands.
As long as nobody suspects anything, running errands is a good cop-out. What if all the stores are closed, you ask? Well, it doesn’t really matter, as an errand can be defined as anything that happens outside your house. In theory, you could go take a trip to Florida and nobody would care.
2. Small talk
We listed this one, but it only has a 50% chance of actually making things less awkward. It might make things more awkward. There’s an art to it. Here is an example of poorly executed small talk:
“Man, this weather is crazy. Last time I saw weather like this, I sat inside all day and cut my toenails.”
Here is an example of well-executed small talk:
“Hey, one time this person came to my house and tried to make small talk. I beat him up with a lamp. He looked a lot like you, now that I think of it.”
The latter is most likely to rid you of annoying company.
3. Walk away without saying a word.
This doesn’t necessarily negate the awkward part of the situation, but at least you won’t be near it. If your team loses the Super Bowl, throw your bag of corn chips at a nearby window and storm out of your house. This tactic will leave relatives and friends scratching their heads, while you go to your friend Bob’s house to play Mario Kart.
4. Talk politics.
We all know someone like that. It’s fairly self explanatory. You’ll have no problem social-distancing yourself from anyone and everyone if you talk about the upcoming election. Trashing people’s political views is a great way to make things less awkward. Especially during the holiday season.
5. If you’re ever on a date, don’t get too fancy.
Should you decide to immerse yourself in a plethora of awkward moments by going on a date, we recommend McDonald’s, Wendy’s, or maybe even Dominos Delivery, if you’re feeling especially romantic. If you wanted to go the candlelight dinner route, try Menards or Walmart, where you can buy Yankee candles in bulk. Also, try a birthday cake. It’s a great excuse to get some candles.
Well, there you have it. You are now prepared for anything the world can throw at you! Come back for more ways to improve your life!