The Ellen Shows Ratings Lower Than Featured Video Of 2-year-old Flushing Toilet Repeatedly

The Ellen Shows ratings have taken a dramatic change this last week, after a featured video of 2-year-old Titus Smyph flushing a toilet was played on Nick Jr. for 3 hours straight. According to a national poll, 99.9832% of Americans prefer the continuous flushing sound over her super irritating voice and raunchy world views. In a Polisauce Inquires interview with Ellen,   she was asked how she feels about this. “I believe that this is an example of bigotry in this country.” She then screeched and ran into a wall face first. Paul Smyph, Titus Smyphs dad, noted that his family is African American, and had just received their citizenship, therefore, the bigotry claim would be incorrect. However, Al Sharpton made a statement this last Saturday, saying that he is a successful lawyer and legal citizen, and that makes him a “rich uncle Tom.”

At publishing time it was rumored that The Ellen Show needed a big turnaround, therefore they are going to make a surprising change soon.

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