PoliSauce Reviews: Star Wars: The Rise of the Last Attack of the Clones Strikes Back and Awakens.

As many of you may know, the newest movie in the highly acclaimed Star Wars Saga has just been released to digital. You may have questions regarding this movie. We will answer as many as we can.

What’s the plot?

Well, basically Luke Skywalker’s great-great-great-grandson finds out he’s force-sensitive. As he hones his powers and becomes a Jedi, a big bad space station appears, the owner of which is a massive government organization headed by the Sith. An army is organized, and the good guys blow up the bad guys. Sometimes there will be a laser stick fight.

Is it safe for children?

Star Wars movies have historically been generally clean movies, but they always manage to make things just weird enough to create speculation. (Think back to Poe and Finn. You know what I mean.) This movie will be clean as far as sexual content, blood, gore, and language. However, the movie will inevitably introduce your children to a progressive agenda and turn them into LIB SNOWFLAKES!!! Because it is being made by Disney.

Doesn’t this movie’s plot seem like the same plot line they’ve been using for 40 years now?

No comment.

Who dies?

Inevitably, a beloved character of the Saga will die in this movie. It will be Luke Skywalker, of course. He will probably be killed in a merciless laser stick duel, just like his mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Also, approximately 5,000,000 stormtroopers will accidentally shoot each other and die in pursuit of Skywalker.

Well, there you have it. That’s all the information we could find on this movie. Search PoliSauce Reviews and PoliSauce Inquires for the answers to all your important questions!

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