Financial Stability during the Pandemic

Many have struggled to feed their families, pay their bills, or amass 1,000 dollars for a Nintendo Switch, due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Well, we at PoliSauce have consulted a diverse host of sources to give you the answers you need to stay financially stable during these uncertain times.

1. Smash bricks with your head.

This seems unlikely, but a prominent Italian plumber is reportedly capable of smashing brick walls and blocks with his unbreakable head. Maybe it’s the snazzy red hat, or maybe it’s because he’s rescuing a princess, but either way, he apparently makes enough money to buy himself another life. Now THAT is insurance!

2. Drug dealing.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Should you come across any addictive substances in your garden, you can sell them for quite a pretty pound nowadays. As of late, you probably won’t get arrested unless you murder or rob someone.

3. Murder or rob someone.

We at PoliSauce would never condone this option, but it’s a proven fact that when you rob someone, you usually will walk away with money. You may get arrested for that, but you might get enough money out of the robbery to pay your way out of a 30-year prison term. Ultimately you might come out on top! Worth a shot.

4. Get a job.

5. Subscribe to PoliSauce.

Okay, you may not profit from this endeavor, but you’ll be significantly less bored. Highly recommended!

Have fun out there!

Disclaimer: This is SATIRE! Do NOT do any of the actions listed above! (Except subscribing to PoliSauce, or getting a job)

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