Communist Revolution Quelled Within Seconds

Well, the end was almost upon us.

Lawrence Stevens, 24, had just graduated from college and was ready to take the world on! Everywhere he looked he saw poverty and injustice! He felt it his patriotic duty to overthrow capitalism and usher in a new Communist order!

Standing proudly upon a skyscraper, he called, “Workers of the world, unite!” He was immediately joined by an 80-year-old woman with arthritis and his cat, Nibbles.

“More will come.” He thought to himself as he waited a. “I said, workers of the world, unite!” He screamed at the sky, only to be met with silence.

Unfortunately the uprising was quelled within seconds, as apparently they were the only three workers left in America.

Maybe next time, Lawrence.

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