Pope Francis has recently made a highly controversial and disputed announcement. According to his latest press release, belief in any deity, higher power, god, messiah, prophet, holy book, or any other “old fashioned, obsolete, uneducated, nonsense” is not required for the saving of your soul. This was meant as a uniting statement, according to aides of the “vicar of Christ”, however, it seems that it is dividing instead. Muhammad Muhammad Muhammad IX, a Mulah in Saudi Arabia, was asked his opinion in a recent interview. He declared that this is madness, Muhammad is the chosen prophet, and no one can be eternally happy unless they give their life to Allah, no matter the cost. He then exclaimed “Allahu Akhbar” and attempted to murder our reporter with their own camera. More news on that later.
Other groups have also been interviewed on this peculiar statement by His Excellency, and many of their leaders express concern. It would seem that this information is heresy of the highest level.
When asked how to get to heaven, since traditional religions are supposedly incorrect, Pope Francis replied that the correct way is to “Lay up your treasures in Vatican” and that the uninspired storybooks actually “translated” incorrectly.