Los Angeles, CA
Jeffrey Smith, a 27 year old, hard working man in Los Angeles, passed away in a Lowe’s Home Improvement store this past Thursday. According to witnesses, the unfortunate being walked around what appeared like a barrier of some sort, with a random “caution” sign on it, and was suddenly crushed by a descending washing machine, that seemingly fell off a broken display shelf. Autopsies showed, however, that the extremely healthy crossfit addict actually died of the new pandemic virus COVID-19, just seconds before being squashed by the toppling appliance. This just goes to show, that nobody is safe from this until we either get a Democrat in office or have a mandatory vaccine for this horrendous and terribly convenient pathogen.